everything i've ever tried from glossier, reviewed
The Glossier Black Friday sale is coming. Let us discuss the brand in detail.
I’ve seen quite a few people talking about the upcoming Glossier Black Friday sale — it’s the only time of the year that they offer a discount (usually 20%), so it’s a good time to stock up on your faves or try some new things.
Glossier is a funny brand for me. I have bought into the hype, LOVE their branding/marketing, and find myself interested in mostly everything they release. I also dislike or am indifferent to a good portion of their products. While ‘skincare first, makeup second’ is their motto, I believe their skincare isn’t really up to snuff — I’ve tried lots of it and nothing has stuck. They have, however, made some of my very favourite makeup products. So… let’s unpack that, I guess?
Here are the products I have personally tried and think are worth the €€€, the products I do not rate, and the products I would like to investigate in the upcoming sale.
The things I love
I’m putting these as one entry because they do a little set with the two of them and they work very well together. For me, Boy Brow is THE brow gel. It grooms, it fills, it sets. Most days, I’m happy to throw it on and do nothing else to my brows. On other days, I use the Brow Flick pen to embellish the more sparse areas. You can’t really go too hard or do too much with it — just lightly flick to mimic real brow hairs. I believe Katie Jane Hughes helped them develop this product, and she did a stunning job. I will be restocking on both of these.
I said before that I hate mascaras that have plastic wands or are designed to be subtle. Well, Lash Slick is both of those things. I can contradict myself in my own newsletter. I love this because you always know what you’re going to get — no waiting until it dries up a bit, no having to separate spider-lashes with a dry spoolie. Just soft, fluttery, daytime eyelashes.
Where Lash Slick really comes into its own is on the bottom lashes. Fellow spectacle wearers will know that masks + glasses = condensation, which wreaks havoc on eye makeup. I need my mascara to stick around, and this tubing formula is ideal for that. It does not come off until you specifically ask it to, and then it’s extremely easy to remove. A+, thank you Glossier.
My most used blush. My most loved blush. I talk about it all the time. Yes, the packaging is kind of bothersome, but I have learned how to work it — just the slightest squeeze, a pin-prick amount, and you have enough product for two cheeks. I own every shade. My favourites are Dusk and Storm, but they’re all gorgeous and adaptable to every kind of makeup look. I don’t know what I did before Cloud Paint and I will never be without a tube. It’s as simple as that, really!
I think I’ve mentioned this before on Vanity Project, but the first time I wore this, from a sample I got with an order, I was IDed buying wine in Tesco. I was 28 at the time and the lady at the till was tickled when I told her. I bought the full size pretty much straight away. It’s an interesting product — part skincare, part makeup, a slightly tinted serum that goes on after your SPF or moisturiser. You can wear it alone for a dewy look, or under makeup for a glowy base. It’s just fun! I like it.
The products I have tried but don’t rate
Okay, there are loads. Here’s where you see my mixed feelings about the brand come to the fore.
Skincare
Milky Jelly cleanser: This is a gentle face wash that does what it says on the tin — I would say it’s inoffensive, but it has a heavy rose scent that may indeed offend many. Not a must-have by any means, but if you like it, more power to you.
Milky Oil eye makeup remover: Like its sister, Milky Oil does its job but isn’t essential. There are cheaper alternatives.
Priming Moisturiser: Glossier are really good at dressing up basics, and this is about as basic a moisturiser as you can get. Get a tube of CeraVe for half the price and you’ll be as well off.
Super Bounce serum: This simple hyaluronic acid serum is actually quite nice and hydrating. However, the market is oversaturated with HA serums at the moment and I don’t think you need the Glossier HA in particular.
Super Pure serum: I’m using this niacinamide serum right now and it is perfectly serviceable. Again, there are loads of similar products out there — this replaced La Roche-Posay’s Effaclar Duo in my routine (they’re not the same product but both contain niacinamide and aim to keep skin clear) and I intend to go back to that.
Balm Dotcom: I did not like this lip balm. It felt too slippery, like it was just sitting on my lips instead of sinking in and moisturising them. I tried this in the early days of my Glossier obsession (when I was literally clamouring for any piece of the brand and my sister sent the starter kit over from the US) and I tried so hard to love it, but just couldn’t. I know some people absolutely adore it, though!
Soothing Face Mist: A spritz is a spritz is a spritz. This rosewater mist was fine, but I didn’t repurchase.
Zit Stick: The US version has benzoyl peroxide in it, which is thee spot-fighting ingredient. But of course, because we can’t have nice things over here, the Irish version is just salicylic acid. I didn’t find it very effective on my more troubling spots.
Body Hero Exfoliating Bar: I reviewed this before in an empties post — I liked it but it didn’t really do enough for me. I want to be SCRUBBED.
Makeup
Perfecting Skin Tint: It’s a no from me. I know they’ve reformulated, but I just do not have the perfect, blemish-free skin that this tint seems to require. I described it as ‘brown water’ before and I’ll do it again.
Haloscope highlighter: When I tried this, I was more into ‘blinding’ highlights and the balmy sheen just didn’t pack the punch I wanted. I’d be interested to see if Haloscope would work for me now that I’m into a more ‘natural’ glow… but not interested enough to add to my basket.
Generation G matte lipsticks: This is a weird one because I have actually been wearing Leo a good bit lately — it’s so sheer that a mask really can’t mess with it. You can apply and apply and apply and you’ll still get the same slight wash of colour. So if you’re looking for the ideal lipstick to wear beneath a triangle of cotton, Generation G is your woman. However, when I first tried these I found them way too dialled-down and a little drying. They were trying something here, but I don’t know if it was super successful. If I want a blotted lip look I will simply… blot my lipstick.
Lidstar liquid eyeshadows: I just could not make these work for me. There is not enough pigment! If you try to build them up by layering them, they congeal! If you like barely there (and I mean barely there) eye makeup, you might like these, but I simply did not. The matte liquid shadows and new trios give me the same vibes. I feel like making “just a tint” makeup products is an easy way to disguise a poor formula. It should be buildable at the very least.
You fragrance: I got a tester with one order and it smelled like vom on me. It apparently adapts to your skin chemistry, which makes the ‘smells like vom’ thing quite worrying for me. Do I naturally just smell like vom?
The products I want to try
I’ve seen several people say this is the best liquid liner they’ve ever used, and I like the look of the very tiny brush. I want to believe! I don’t need a new liner at the moment but when I do, I’ll be trying this.
I don’t have a concealer like this in my arsenal — kind of emollient and dewy. Katie Jane Hughes (just going to keep talking about her, I guess) uses this all over her face, almost like foundation, and it always looks great. Of course, she’s a pro MUA and I am just a worm, but still I dream.
A balmy, glossy lipstick, you say? I must have it! Seriously, these kinds of lip products are like catnip to me and I’ve seen a couple of YouTubers talking about it, so… consider me influenced. I think Trench is the shade I’ll probably go for.
This was in @tynanbuck’s Shit I Finish stories and as someone who read every single word published on xoVain (RIP), I listen when Tynan says he likes something. Milky Jelly was too basic for me — could the gently exfoliating Cleanser Concentrate actually have something to offer? I would like to see it.
Will you be picking up anything next weekend? Yes, I know Black Friday is a terrible imported custom and we probably should ignore it but… a deal is a deal (if, of course, you were going to buy the thing anyway). And please let me know if there are any Glossier products I haven’t mentioned that you think I’m missing out on. I am willing to be convinced.
Thanks for reading Vanity Project! I cannot believe I have tried so many Glossier products. Am I well? Seemingly not. Anyway, see you soon for the next one!
This newsletter is the best.
This newsletter is the best.