a review of glossier's stretch fluid foundation from a not-so-reformed glossier girlo

I love to eat my words.

When I say I boarded the Glossier train on day one, I mean it. I was a regular reader of Into The Gloss in 2014/2015 – can you imagine that once upon a time, the blog was more famous than the brand? The Top Shelf interviews, the witty reviews from the staffers, and the gorgeous photography all exuded a kind of New York cool that was very glamorous to 23-year-old me.

When they announced a spinoff beauty line, they didn’t need to ask me to buy in. I was already there. The packaging? The marketing? The ethos of “skin first, makeup second”? THE PINK? There had never been anything like it, at least not in my memory. Please remember, the popular beauty look at the time was a full coverage base, drawn-on eyebrows, and extremely intricate eyeshadow. For a beauty brand to imply that one could wear anything less than a full face was unheard of.

the OGs! it’s hard to believe i was so excited about THIS of all things

The company has obviously gone through a lot since then. It has weathered more than a few scandals, ditched its original CEO, and been the subject of a tell-all book (which I am dying to read, BTW). Copycat brands sprung up and, in some cases, usurped it in popularity. Beauty lovers once enthralled by Glossier’s millennial pink fantasy began to scoff at its new launches and marketing efforts. One of those sniffy beauty lovers was me, as detailed in this 2021 newsletter covering every single product I had tried from the brand. But aside from an ill-fated venture into bolder cosmetics (RIP Glossier Play), throughout all this tumult, the products themselves remained firmly in their dewy, wash-of-colour, barest-hint-of-a-tint wheelhouse.

Until now, that is. Because New Glossier has created a foundation, the one thing Old Glossier was never about. Old Glossier would have been standing there in a STOP HAVING PORES t-shirt saying, why would you need that? Is your skin not absolutely stunning? Here, take this watery skin tint and shut up. But times change. Maybe New Glossier can acknowledge the existence of pores.

My “everything I’ve tried” newsletter is now slightly out of date, as I’ve since tried the Stretch concealer – not my favourite, which was a surprise, as it’s so loved by so many. It’s a bit too emollient and dare I say greasy for me. This was frustrating because it should work so well, given my eyes’ tendency to be dry as a bone. Everything I knew was telling me to be wary when the Stretch Fluid Foundation was launched late last year… but then I saw so. Many. Great. Reviews. From all sorts of trusted sources. I waited for Black Friday to get some money off the €42 price tag and made my move, grabbing a few more Ultralips while I was at it (my love for those will never die. Cranberry! What a colour). 

I used the website shade finder and my concealer shade (G11) to land on what would hopefully be my ideal match in the foundation: Light 4, light with pink undertones. I was alarmed by the Simpson-esque hue of the product in the bottle, but such is the magic of undertones – it looks seamless on my face, neutralising my pink lil nose and cheeks. 

The texture is thicker than expected; surprisingly moussey, though it feels light as air on application. For me, it’s the perfect light-to-medium coverage that can be built up where required. A few steps up from the Sculpted by Aimee HydraTint, a few steps down from the Haus Labs Triclone foundation (I reviewed both for my 2023 favourites). It’s described as having a hydrating, “natural-to-you” finish, which I find pretty accurate – it’s not super luminous, though any skincare and glowy primers will peep through, but neither is it matte. It looks and feels like skin! That makes it the ideal base for a day at the office, say, or a mill around town when I’m less than delighted with how my skin is behaving. I’ve also observed that it doesn’t get gross when I’ve been sitting in an air-conditioned building all day, which is kind of unbelievable.

Here’s a big picture of my face with it on, if that helps (I’m wearing Benetint on my lips, by the way. That’s a blast from the past):

no filter but lots of daylight. sometimes i feel like a naked mole rat without my glasses on and this is one of those times

I’ve had this foundation for around two months now and find myself reaching for it on most regular, non-glam days. I don’t need to cut it with anything to get my preferred level of coverage – it’s just right as it is. It blends quickly and wears pretty well on my combination skin (I notice a little weirdness around my nose and on healing spots as the day goes on, but those are my weird areas, so I get it). It slid right into my everyday lineup with no fuss. If that isn’t a sign that a foundation is good, I don’t know what is. 

I truly believed I wasn’t a Glossier stan anymore. But as I sit here applying the Glossier foundation, blush, eyebrow gel, and lipstick, I have to admit: I’m back on the train. Maybe I never got off.